(Isa 40:29 NKJV) He gives power to the weak, And to
those who have no might He increases strength.
(Isa 40:30 NKJV) Even the youths shall faint and be weary, And the young
men shall utterly fall,
(Isa 40:31 NKJV) But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their
strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and
not be weary, They shall walk and not faint.
A few weeks ago, I had
planned to visit a church overseas,
but was told that we should not be imposing what best in SG since we do
not know anything about this church. My mind went back to a few years,
when walking passed the bank, I felt that God
asked me to send money to this church. They
are flaming liberals, I complained to God. But
the money was sent and I visited them realizing that the money was much
needed just in time to answered prayers. It's
not for me to change people, that is God's task. I was a Gentle Lamb
bearing a blessing and a friendship beyond any corporate agenda except
God's agenda to bless.
True
spirituality is difficult -
discerning God’s voice
to move in the Holy spirit of God to continue on the ministry of Christ
here on earth. True Spirituality often moves
us beyond our comfort zone to seek God beyond our own Christian faith
tradition and is fluid and dynamic.
There is incredible vanity in our Christian walk of
faith especially in the GLBT Christian circles. The sun rises and fall,
and seasons come and go. The people that once was with us, the "oldies",
now gone. We remember their voices, their words of encouragement, their
zeal for God, yet wondered whether our own fates will follow their
fates. Will our Christian walk last the race of faith? We too are
struggling, yet it is no longer our strength that sustains us, but a
spirituality from the very throne room of God.
(John 14:16 NKJV) "And I will pray the Father, and He
will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever;
(John 14:17 NKJV) "the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive,
because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He
dwells with you and will be in you.
(John 14:18 NKJV) "I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.
Christian Spirituality is a
closeness and an abide with Jesus Christ, in a communion with the Holy
Spirit of God, our friend and helper giving us revelation and wisdom to
run the race of faith. A regular time of prayer, worship, and spiritual
renewal/revelation by the Word of God is a practise of Spirituality with
an open heart to move with the Spirit of God. It is breathing in the
life of the Spirit into our lives. It is not only the seeking God in our
lives, but God moving in our lives. It
is being opened to being transformed by the Holy Spirit by abiding by
His small quiet voice.
Our journey of faith starts with
God touching our hearts revealing the need for repentance for our sins,
and finding that salvation by faith in the death and resurrection of
Jesus Christ. As we continue on this journey to follow the footsteps of
Christ, through our service, ministries,
preaching of the Gospel, helping the outcast and the weak, God
reveals His heart to us, and we gain a spirituality and closeness to
God, being the hands and feed for God to heal the wounded. We
become like Jesus, the wounded healer.
Spirituality is needed for
service and Christian living, but is not necessarily gained through
service or ministry per say. The most saintly serving in the slumps of
the poorest country may find God a distance, a dark empty void. Service
can be a religious devoid of a spiritual connection to the present will
of Jesus Christ, but rather motivated by a general human charity
and religious desire to do good and a heart for
people. It doesn’t mean that God is in it although there is a
calling to be a good samaritan.
In this world, where
instituitionalised Christianity, its dogmas,
sacraments, and ways are so structured and hierarchal, our relationship
with God is bounded by our faith traditions and beliefs. It need not be
tangible or reach any sense of spirituality or closeness to God, but
followed routinely as a religious rite in prayer, worship, and
ministries. Seldom do we need a special touch
from the Spirit of God. It is when we take away these outer
garments, we may be left with an empty void without Spirituality.
Spirituality concerns the realm
of the spirit, and not the soul nor the body. Our Christian theological
traditions, religious laws and ministries are often related to our soul
and works of our strength. God is often an idea of our mind. Our wealth,
culture, social status, vocation, gender, church ministry, the church
that we attend, our religious traditions often
determines our identity of how we see ourselves. Who are you when
these outer garments of identity are removed as Gay Christians.
(John
10:27 NKJV) "My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow
Me.
(John 10:28 NKJV) "And I give them eternal life, and they shall never
perish; neither shall anyone snatch them out of My hand.
In Spirituality however, we
connect in the spirit to God as a child of God. The connection to Jesus
as our Lord and Saviour occurs at a spiritual place, beyond just a
declaration of faith in the mystery of God or the incarnation. At
the core of our spirituality is the knowing and hearing the voice of
God. It is something tangible that cannot be taken away when the
garments of our religious faith is being deconstructed as Gay
Christians.
Spirituality is not a process per say.
I am reminded of many of my
gay Christian friends who have reconciled their faith and
sexuality. They were beginning to serve God in the GLBT Christian
community. They told stories of
their past as Cell Group leaders, Worship leaders,
and Elders of mega churches. But they were
living on their past glory and faith which
soon runs out of steam. The issue is
not about being comfortable or going into another safe closet, but
whether having a spirituality to run the race of faith when we are
naked.
Being gay in a hostile
Christian religious environment in Singapore
deconstructs us emotionally and religiously. We do not know what to
believe anymore and our notions of God, and the bible badly affected.
When we lose ourselves, dreams and hopes, what is left behind is the
substance of our spirituality.When the music stops,
how tangible is our spirituality, our deep
communion with Jesus Christ.
Spirituality gives us an anchor
through the tempest of life made particularly tough when we are a gay
Christian. It is to be able to hear God, hear His
laughter, and just be friends. It is to commune with God at an intimate
sense giving us power and the oil of anointing to run this race of
faith.
(Psa 23:1 NKJV) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not
want.
(Psa 23:2 NKJV) He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me
beside the still waters.
(Psa 23:3 NKJV) He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of
righteousness For His name's sake.
There is a human tendency “to do” rather than “to
rest”. I
was with
friends serving God day and night like an army to
conquer the land in a mega church without walls in caring, compassion,
preaching, teaching, ministering and serving. I had admired their
spirituality.
They were good people, much better than me in faith
and tenacity for God.
But a decade or more later, many
are no more to be seen. God is more interested in our
rest rather than service because out of this rest comes the grace for
service. We no longer need to strive by our own strength.
Many of us,
were
young once,
on "fire"
at the edge
of Christianity,
joining the
march
to
make a
difference,
a church
without walls.
Mega
churches such as
City
Harvest grew in leaps and bounds. Are we
more
spiritual?
When the
optimism of youth fades, and the reality and struggles of life comes,
some with the bombshell of accepting that we are gay, how strong are we?
(Isa 10:27 NKJV) It shall come to pass in that day That
his burden will be taken away from your shoulder, And his yoke from your
neck, And the yoke will be destroyed because of the anointing oil.
The fight of
faith is a long journey and staying in the race and being at rest is
much more important than dying young.
We need
God's continuous annoining oil and flow from heaven for many Gay
Christians are rather leaky having to fight a headwind of rejection by
religion, family and society.
Our
redemption is not only in the mind of
asking the
tough
religious
questions.
We need that tangible touch of God, a spirituality of receiving the
anointing oil to run the good race of faith. This
annointing and the move of the Holy Spirit can be easily quenched and
hindered. Right Christian theology matters because in it we receive our
manna, our daily bread and red wine of life.
(Gen 28:12
NKJV) Then he dreamed, and behold, a ladder was set up on the earth, and
its top reached to heaven; and there the angels of God were ascending
and descending on it.
(Gen
28:16 NKJV) Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, "Surely the LORD
is in this place, and I did not know it."
(Gen 28:17 NKJV) And he was afraid and said, "How awesome is this place!
This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of
heaven!"
The Church
doesn't need to stir up tired souls to continue to charge forward at the
edge of Christianity finding that our fellow comrades gunned down by the
fiery bullets of hell. Even the youth will be worn out and loose
strenght. Spirituality is waiting on the Lord to renew our strenght.
(Isa 40:31). The young ones are left, the oldies no more to be seen. Yet
the young will one day be old and their fates the same.
We can't run a Gay church the same
as a straight church with the exception of being inclusive. We have
enough of religion, of man made religious laws and ideas of God. We has
tasted its foul taste of homophobia and rejection of the GLBT tribe with
a false veneer of religion.
We seek the
Spirituality of God. We seek
a church
which is a house a God that is an awesome place where there is the gate
of heaven. We are not interested in religion. We want the real deal,
a portal to
heaven, a free access to God without the hindrances of demonic
principalities where God
is no longer a mystery. It is a
closeness to God, to heaven with the angels marching up and down giving
a word in time and season. Because we
need the reality of Jesus in our lives, and not the delusion of
institutionalised Christianity.
In this
house of God, it is Jesus who will be ministering and all who come to
church will receive a special touch of the Holy Spirit and return home
knowing that he/she has met God in person. It is a sacred place, where
the river of God flows out from the people touched by God to the
nations, that we can bring the rainbow message of the good news to our
own GLBT tribe who are seeking faith yet dismayed by the legalism,
hypocrisy and inconsistency of the mainstream christian faith.
Be at rest, for you have fought the
good fight of faith. Welcome Home. My rest awaits you, the river of God
where you will thirst no more. You will eat the grass beside still,
quiet waters, and be satisfied and filled.
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