(Mat 22:37 NKJV) Jesus said to him, " 'You shall love the LORD your
God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your
mind.'
(Mat 22:38 NKJV) "This is the first and great commandment.
(Mat 22:39 NKJV) "And the second is like it: 'You shall love your
neighbor as yourself.'
What they don't tell you at many churches in
Singapore is that their fight against gays through their proxies
such as the Church of Saviour, Exodus, Focus on the Family are
heading for a dead end. Desperate measures have been used such as
outrageous rethoric from the pulpit, and pseudo science as the acceptance of gays becomes more widespread in the US
with the fear that Singapore could follow suit. Their message is being drowned
by the increasing world wide acceptance of gays coupled by an uneasy
conscience that perhaps they may have been wrong.
The Christian Right groups are calling for dialogue trying to
convince themselves that they were the victims rather than the
perpetrators much alike a robber coming to your house and asking
you to give reasons why you should keep your own belongings!
It could never be about dialogue on equal terms as they were
debating about your rights and not theirs. Gays should never need to justify for basic
human rights and dignity. Freedom of
religion does not give us special rights to impose our own
theological construction to bind the lives of others unless our
faith is so weak that it requires gays as the scapegoat for our own
immorality.
The theological construction of condemnation against gays has meant
that even the best of Christian writers and thinkers such as Henri
Nouwen was never able to reconcile his sexuality and come out in public as a
gay person. As a result, he suffered so much emotional toil that had
contributed to his early death in 1996. Only a deep revelation that
our love for God is intertwined with first loving ourselves would
set us free from our theological bondage. Nouwen grew up 50 years
ago in a hostile environment very much different from today where we
now know that we are not alone and that there are many Gay
Christians just like us. Can we go further to love ourselves and
have pride.
In the US, even with the advent of the mega churches in the last 20
years, there has been a massive shift in public opinion:-
a) Gay marriage is supported by 42% in 2010, versus just 27% in
1996.
b) Gays serving in the army is supported by 60% in 2010, versus 52%
in 1994.
c) To-date, 53% of those born after 1981 supports gay marriage,
versus 29% born prior to 1928. ie the acceptance of gay marriage by
the younger generations will soon surpass the negative opinion of
the older generations with the passing of time.
The profound change may be hastened by more gays coming out, loving
and accepting themselves and be "out" to friends and family at a
much younger age, thus effectively negating the vicious rethoric of
the Christian Right. It is much harder to believe their half truths
if gays were not much different from the straight people and are our
friends and family. We are becoming proud and coming out as
never before:-
a) According to Stonewall report in Nov 2010, the average age of
coming out for over-60s was 37; for people in their 30s it was 21;
and for those now aged 18-24 was 17.
b) In Asia, the first Taipei Pride was held in 2003 with many gays
wearing masks. In 2010, the Pride grew to 30,000 attendance and not
a mask was to be seen.
c) India's first gay pride was held in Nov 2010 with 2,000 in
attendance, made possible, by the legalization of gay relationships
in 2009.
The legalization of gay relationships and same sex marriage are
only a matter of time as more gays begin to accept and love
themselves instead of carrying a baggage of self denial. As we begin
to take the journey of loving ourselves, we start the journey of
having the self confidence to be how God has created us, and begin
to relate to people as who we are authentically rather than hiding
behind a mask.
Loving ourselves comes so naturally to straight people, but for many
gay christians, the negative construction by society and by the
church has bound us in a theological construct to hate ourselves. We
must consciously "consume" Jesus as one preacher has said, not to
deny ourselves and put on Christ as he had proposed, rather to see
and visualise Christ acceptance and love for us as a special and
unique queer people of faith.
The recent strong reaction to Rev Ou Young of MCCNY in Malaysiakini
highlighting the existence of gays in the community shows that
Malaysia even more than Singapore are far behind. Some in the Gay Christian
community seemed perturbed by Rev Ou Young stirring the issue even
though he was not outing them in any way. It showed a deep seated
self loathing instead of pride, of how God has created us
wonderfully as a gay person. We were not rejecting Rev Ou Young,
rather rejecting ourselves. The key to coming out of the closet is
not only about coming out to family and friends, but whether we
could love and accept ourselves as who we are.
The mere mention of the gay issue seems to cause a Holy indignation
amongst many gay christians who instead prefer to focus on being
Christians who happens to be gay. However, if we cannot fully love
ourselves, how can we say we love God, or worship Him fully in
Spirit and in truth. We can preach and worship God from the pulpit
and in public within the safe space of a "gay church" yet when our
worship to God is broadcasted in the Youtube we become defensive and
ashamed of worshiping God as a Gay Christian.
There is a strong calling of God for gays to love and accept
themselves. When we love ourselves, we have the freedom to love
others and to love God. Being free is not only first realising that
all are equal in God's eyes, but to realise that we are equal
ourselves. There is little point to see others as equal without the
basis of loving ourselves first. We are able to love ourselves
especially our sexual orientation, when we see the love and
acceptance of God through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.
Freedom is seeing yourself in the mirror and loving yourself because
you are beloved in Christ Jesus. It doesn't really matter when
Singapore eventually decriminalises Homosexuality, for we must first
be decriminalised it in our own hearts and mind, in the deepest
recess of our sub-conscious. Only the Holy Spirit can do this work
of revelation in our lives to love and accept ourselves first, so
that the Love of God can come into our hearts.
We can't worship and praise God effectively, unless we are bold
enough to yearn for freedom. The Holy Spirit is put in a box when we
praise God with our face in the ground, afraid to see God as a Gay
Christian community, afraid to raise our hands to worship God in the
World Wide Web lest others see us and question whether we were gay!.
It is time for us to start loving ourselves first, and to live with
oneself.