I
(1 Tim 3:2 NKJV) A bishop
then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, temperate,
sober-minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach;
(1 Tim 3:3 NKJV) not given
to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome,
not covetous;
(1 Tim 3:6 NKJV) not
a novice, lest being puffed
up with pride he fall into the same condemnation as the devil.
(1 Tim 3:8 NKJV) Likewise
deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not given to much wine,
not greedy for money,
(1
Tim 3:10 NKJV) But let these also
first be tested; then let them serve as deacons, being found
blameless.
(1 Tim 3:11 NKJV) Likewise
their wives must be reverent,
not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things.
As we seek the same rights as straight people, we often forget that as
Gay Christians, it comes with the same responsibilities as straight
couples. If we were truly consistent and inclusive, the proper conduct
of straight couples would equally apply to gay couples – the boundaries
of adultery, promiscuity, and faithful commitment to each other. Such
character and attitudes are required especially when we are leaders of
the church. Most situations would be a non-issue for a church member,
but for a church leader would mean a serious indiscretion.
I have a liberal view on sex, and have no issues with casual sex with
multiple partners. Yet, for leaders of a church it is no longer their
personal opinion of what is right or wrong but whether they can be
considered blameless to all people in their moral and spiritual purity.
As Gay Christian leaders, there is a much higher bar of having a
committed long term monogamous relationship with a partner (1 Tim 3:11)
who has the same fervency for Christ, a requirement no different whether
we are gay or straight.
In the mainstream church, it would be highly unlikely for a church
pastor or cell group leader or even the worship leader to have many
casual sex partners in the congregation. Sexual purity and self control
is a reflection of our holiness unto God. We are to keep pure and holy
lives if we were to lead people into godliness and spiritual faith. The
gay Christian leader is not exempted simply because he was gay or that
casual sex or frequent breakups were widely accepted in the gay
community.
When we seek Christian leadership, we should be mindful of our
weaknesses. Part of realizing oneself is to see how the condemnation and
the persecution we faced as Gays has damaged us in many ways making us
self centered, aggressive in our bitching against others, having
multiple sex partners, and having a gym culture.
The norm should not be translated into acceptable leadership
attitudes and behaviors. The character of Christian leaders must be 100%
beyond reproach. We cannot be mindful of ourselves and our own
limitations without knowing our weaknesses and where we need to crucify
the flesh if we were to be in Christian ministry leadership.
The right
character for qualification of leadership includes:-
a) Humility (not proud) and able to change quickly when advised of an
indiscretion.
b) Have only one partner, who is also a Christian and have a Godly
character with reverence for God.
c) Temperate and restrained
d) Gentle, and Hospitable
e) Not prone to anger or being argumentative
f) Not bitchy
g) Proven in service as deacons
h) Not self centered or overtly concerned with money
Leaders are expected to be of Spiritual maturity, depth of faith and
commitment, knowledge in the Word of God, and not to be a novice in
faith. There is to be gradual progression from deacons to Bishop.
Leadership must be carefully chosen especially for a worship leader or a
preacher on Sunday because their life is seen by all and their failings
impact the whole church.
Leadership are chosen not based on popular vote, or being inclusive or
representative of a particular race, sex, or sexual orientation, but the
calling in one’s life. Most inclusive church would have chosen at least
five or six woman disciples amongst the first 12 disciples for equality
sake. Yet, such inclusivity is often not God’s ways. True inclusivity
goes beyond the outside, and sees who we are on the inside. We should
not be judged on our sex or sexual orientation, but whether we have
passed the test of character, spirituality, faith, commitment, and
availability and the calling from God.
The growth of a church is dependent upon its leaders, whether we
dedicate our lives to the service of God and mindful of our conduct,
speech, spirituality, and faith in ministry of Christ. It is not about
intellectual discourse on theology or even asking the tough questions,
but God sees our heart whether we are passionate for Jesus, to see His
kingdom come and His will and justice be done on earth.
The issue with gay churches is that we have come to be so used to
what is considered norm in the gay culture that we do not apply the same
standards and norms of Christian leadership of holiness and separation
unto the work of God. Our dedication to Christ and His purposes comes
first beyond all else.
We are to be holy and separated unto God, for the Spirit of God to work
within those we minister to. If our lifestyles are overtly focused on
sex, shopping, pubs, or a gym lifestyle, then our hearts, mind, soul and
spirit will not be fully aligned with Christ to be able to speak the
inspired Word of God into the lives of people in church or in Christian
ministries. We will operate on
our carnal self which produces few fruits.
When we are dedicated to God living a life of prayer, meditation,
reading and studying God’s word, He will filled us with the Spirit of
the Living God, such that we will minister in the word of knowledge,
prophecy and anointing to break down the yokes of bondages in the lives
of the community. Godly leadership can only come when we dedicate our
lives, and be crucified at the Cross until it is not our will, but God’s
will be done.
As the greatest sinner of them all, I am work in progress, and hopefully
there is still hope for me too. Let us abide in God’s grace and changing
slowly to conform to His image as a new creation in Christ.
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