Thy loving kindness is better than life


Ps 63:1-4

 1O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is;

 2To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary.

 3Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee.

 4Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name.

   5My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips:


Thy loving kindness is better than life

Thy loving kindness is better than life

my lifts shall praise thee, thus will i bless thee

Thy loving kindmess is better than life

I lift my hands up unto thy name

I lift my hands up unto thy name

My lifts shall praise thee, thus will i bless thee

Thy loving kindness is better than life

1962 by Hugh Mitchell

The Maslow's hierachy of needs starts of with Physiological needs (air, water, food, sleep,sex), followed by safety (shelter, security, work, health, protection from harm), then love/belonging,  then esteem, and at the top self actualization. Maslow was a Jew and grew up just after World War II, hence the first two basic needs reflect the basic needs of survival.

Whlist some gay Christians talk about the uncertainty of life especially in the context of aging, and loneliness, we are reminded that it is a blessing to reflect on such notions after reaching a certain sense of self actualization. However, for many gay christians, we are still at a level of physiological and safety.

For many the fight is just to survive before and after coming out as a gay person.

  • Gays are bullied at school

  • Gays are rejected by their families, and many gay youths are homeless as a result

  • Gays are rejected by the church and have to hide silently or not do church altogether.

  • Gays are denied basic justice and are persecuted by the law for being gay and denied basic rights of existence, and marriage.

  • For the transexuals, life is even harder with outright rejection, ridicule, and no work at all. Surviving daily is a challenge.

At the sidelines, are the Christian Right throwing stones, exalting their morality and self righteousness, and even though surrounded by abortions by church members, adultery of married couples in the congregation, and abuse of young children by the clergy, point their finger at gays as the greatest sinners! as the Catholic Pope said has the potential to destroy humanity.

Perhaps, what the Pope meant was that gays has the potential to destroy the church, which it has, for we have put a people in prison and bondage, in the name of Jesus, and thus have sinned not only against mankind but against God blaspheming the message of God's love in Christ Jesus. 

In our ego, we may like to imagine that our Christian queer theology is making a difference. Yes, in the mainstream traditional churches in America perhaps, but in Asia and Africa, and Singapore, our voices are a drop of water in a fish tank - not heard by the churches nor by the gay population.   This is a tragedy where the gay population has tended towards a fight for survival rather than the self actualization of reconciling their Christian faith and their sexual orientation.

The Gay Christian voices must be heard in the gay community before it could ever be a voice in the wider christian community just as the Gospel was preached first in Jerusalem, then Judea before the rest of the world.

There is a lack of certainty in life, in contrast with a certainty of life in Christ Jesus. In Gen 1:1, "in the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth", the God here is the Jewish God Elohim. John 1:1, declares "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was God ...." followed by 1:3 "all things came into being through Him", the connection and bridge was made with the creation beginnings that Jesus is God, was there at the beginning with God, and was the God of creation. Hence, there is certainty in Christ by declaring Himself one with Father God of creation.

The bible made an even more startling assertions that Jesus is not only the manifested presence and incarnation of God of the beginnings (which hitherto not seen in person for even Moses could only see the back of God), but He is also the omega, the God of the Endings. Jesus is the beginning and at End - in Rev 1:8 - "I am the Alpha and Omega," ie the end of the world is related to the life, story and conclusion, in the coming back of Jesus Christ. Hence, in Jesus Christ, whatever happens, He is still in control because He controls the entire cosmos of beginning and ending.

 As we go along this life's journey of faith and for many just struggling to survive, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, we have a certainty in Christ that will never change. Jesus is our Lord and Saviour by faith in God's grace in His death and resurrection at the Cross of Calvary. As Jesus is accepted, so are we into heaven, one day, where there will be no crying, and no suffering, and no rejection. We will finally be embraced by that gentle and loving arms of Jesus.

There are many Gay Christians who tried to pray away their intrinsic gayness, and to be a flaming religious sin condeming zealots in order to shield away their own sexual orientation. When their world collapses, they tend to the other extreme. Growing up, I just enjoyed that gentle and sweet communion with Jesus Christ, no aggenda, no demands that God cure or heal me of being gay, but just to sit at Jesus' feet and be at rest.

My escape from the worldly reality as a young child in a rather homophobic world was to read the bible and history books, and asking God to take me away from the world and He did into a spiritual reality. The bible and God became real as if I was really there when they crucify the Lord. The bible becomes living and the Holy Spirit my friend.

 I came out of my closet, when I heard the small still voice of the Holy Spirit one day declaring them I am a gay person. I have hidden this fact so well in my sub-conscience but God took it out into the light and said that it was good. It was like a Father saying to his child, I know you are gay.... no need to hide... i love you very much and accept you as a gay person for God has created you wonderfully. It was Jesus talking to me, embracing and accepting me.

I am like a gentle lamb, gazing gently at the grass, the sweet word of God through the bible and the Holy Spirit of God. and drinking the sweet waters of life from the throne room of God, from Jesus Christ. But I had to face the world, and in the struggles and pain of life, find in it strenght, hope, and faith through the grace of God in Christ Jesus  to be a better person of love, mercy and grace, and compassion.

This world is certaintly no bed of roses, and i have got very little belongings in my life. I really do not know whether I can survive the next year, or the following year, but one thing for certain, my hope and trust is in Christ Jesus. I will see Jesus one day in heaven, and I will be very happy to see Him again. But somehow, my work on earth is not yet finish.

Before Jesus comes back, I know that I would have to tarry here on earth, to proclaim God's amazing love and salvation message to the rainbow tribe. Life itself, so difficult and challenging as a gay christian, is made whole, by the loving kindness of God in my life. God's grace is like the rainbow after the daily storms of our lives.

I enjoyed the Pslamist declaring that the loving kindness of God is better than the gift of life, is better than  living when there is so much lack of water - the basic needs of our life (Ps 63:1). The gay community has suffered much, and I believe that God is declaring his loving kindness to us where instead of dryness and suffering, we will see abundance and blessings in our lives (Ps 63:4), that we may rejoice and praise God.

  We are to seek Jesus Christ, to thirst for Him, to spend our life in praising God rather than enjoying the little pleasures of life, for God will one day take away that dry and empty land that we are struggling in, and led us to our rest, to a land full of fatness of food and abundance where there shall be no lack.  

May God's grace fill your life today with rejoicing, gladness and praise in the midst of adversity and trouble, for God is here, and God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.

Christ be with you today and forevermore. Shalom.


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