Sex and Christianity

(1 Cor 5:1 NKJV) It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and such sexual immorality as is not even named among the Gentiles; that a man has his father's wife!

The first mention of sexual immorality in Corinthians was not about gay sex although this is a favorite topic of Christians in Singapore, but about straight adultery in the context of a sexualized mainstream community where religiously motivated sex with the goddess Aphrodite predominates the culture. This topic is often avoided with blame put on gays as being cause of breakdown of straight marriages, but the bible essentially talks about straight affairs how we too often are enticed sexually and spiritually, our carnal desires being consumed by a world full of glittering blonds.

We blame gays, because temptation is everywhere from the bars where woman are strategically positioned to accompany the lonely men, to the massage parlors, or to the gorgeous people of opposite sex we meet day in and out. It is said that 30% of straight men of sexual affairs outside marriage but we feel too guilty to admit and so blame gays who has no sexual attraction to the women that enticed us.

In the past few weeks, we have been drawn to Tiger Wood’s golf on the bed. The revelations of Tiger Wood’s marital infidelity came quickly after a mysterious car incident on 27 Nov 09 at 2.25 am where he struck a fire hydrant and drove into a tree at the neighbor’s property. Tiger was apparently having a quick exit after a dispute with Swedish wife Elin Nordegren over adulterous affairs.

Despite the talk of the Anglican church in Singapore that gay men are causing family breakdowns of the traditional family and traditional marriage, there were no gay men chasing woods into the trees that night, nor were any of the subsequent revelation of 6 affairs motivated by homosexuality.

Woods it was claimed had at least six birdies (from Times onlines) from the east to west of America, all good looking female blonds:-

  • Las Vegas waitress, Jaimee Grubbs
  • Las Vegas party girl, Jamie Jungers
  • New York Night clubber, Cori Rist
  • Marketing manager, Kalika Moquin
  • Orlando restaurant manager, Mindy Lawton
  • New York Nightclub manager, Rachel Uchitel

There were no ducks in the above affairs. Tiger Woods is of a traditional family unit, married in October 2004, with one husband, one wife, and two children. A Traditional family unit by itself does not result in immunity from family breakdowns, contrary to claim in the recent sermon at the Anglican centenary by Bishop John Chew.

The Times Online reported that “Mindy Lawton, a restaurant manager from Orlando, Florida, told the News of the World that she romped with Woods in his luxury mansion and in a church car park even while his wife, Elin Nordegren, was pregnant with the couple’s first child in 2006.” They were not gays.

Blaming gays for the breakdown of traditional marriage, and family unit is akin to claiming that Wood’s unfaithfulness was caused by the car crash on the tree. It is all a very tortuous argument and clearly a false testimony and witness that is contrary to basic Christianity, and the Old Testament Ten Commandments.

As they go into marital counseling, there was no call for Woods to denounced “heterosexuality” as you would normally hear from Church leaders after the Ted Haggard affairs where he was said to have been totally cured of “homosexuality”. When it comes to heterosexual affairs there were no such calls.

Without access to wide acceptance in the community and family, without legal recognition of homosexuality and gay marriages, it is neither reasonable nor useful to use the same biblical sexual ethics on a straight person for gays. However, the following basic rules should govern relationships:-

  • Love is a Covenant of faithfullness and commitment

(Eph 5:25 NKJV) Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

When two parties agree on a long term relationship, it is a covenant between themselves. Sex should be within this covenant of faithfulness. The husband should love the wife and be faithful, and not stray to then temple prostitutes which is a common and mainstream religious practice. Even though the concept of good mainstream moral values was invoked by Bishop John Chew in his argument against gays, this is just rhetoric as the conservative HDB heartlands are no guide more moral values with its myriad of massage parlors in Chinatown and Geylang prostitute dens.

Paul used the concept of Christ and the Church, to compare it with our relationships to give us the spiritual notion of faithfulness, love, and sacrifice. Christ gave Himself, His life for the church, that the Church may be committed to Him as Lord and Savior and not indulged in the places of other gods. It is a mutual blood covenant with obligations and commitment on both parties.

  • Love is a relationship and a journey together

Relationship joins both parties, and our relationship with God, gives us hope, life and salvation being joined to the body of Christ, through baptism identifying with his death as our death, and rising from the water, our resurrection to a new life identifying with His resurrection from physical death.

In the bible, sex joins the spirit and soul of both parties, and therefore when the straight men had sex with the temple prostitutes in the bible, it becomes not only sex but an act of religious faith and alignment to that god. If it is unclean, then we become unclean. We become one with who we have sex with.

Therefore, Love is not only sexual in nature, but sex should come out of a relationship of walking and being together in this life’s journey. There is a sealing and a joining in sexual relationships that affirms and joins both parties. We can’t do without sex, but sex without a love relationship deprives us of long term-committed relationships.


As the Christian church in Singapore has banned long term mutual and committed relationships between gays based on love and has said that it is "sin", we cannot also call casual sex by gays as a "sin". This is especially so when straight people in marriage covenant, such as Tiger Woods, appear to have many concurrent relationships running at the same time. There is no moral covenant stating that casual sex is wrong if there is no possibility of a marriage covenant for gays accepted and agreed by all - the family, the community, and the nation legally.

Therefore, as Gay Christians, we fall back to the centrality of Jesus Christ in our lives that whatever we do, does not take us away from our first love and relationship with God. He is our first love, and there may be more partners along the way both casual and long term, which is OK, but our long term focus should be on our relationship with God for which all else matter less. God in His infinite grace and glory would not leave us alone, but give us a suitable partner to share our lives and walk through this tough journey of faith and witness on earth, and it would then become a threesome journey with our relationship with the partner first acceptable by God for it would be a joining together of all the parties. So choose the right partner and stay faithful.


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