For many gays,
I guess the end of life is when we discovered that we are gay usually at
an early age. We try to cover it up as a passing phase, but when it soon
dawn upon us this permanent reality, life itself ended with all our
dreams lost. We live as best we could.
We do not need to
wait for an eulogy and what people would say and write at the end. They
may say good things respectfully but the hidden thoughts are that He/She
is gay.
I am saddened as I
think of a gay friend of mine at City Harvest. He was also a good friend
of Kong Hee over 25 years and a member of the worship team. He remained
single all this while. While he is not dead, his life is actually gone,
no moments to experience the love of another man.
Our eulogy is
already well written before us when we were born gay.
The end is not some utopia of
justice and judgement for those who have caused harm. The end is loss, a
grave loss. There is often such a deep sadness in the worship with gay
chrstians.
Why some christians
can't get more than 100 to grace their gay churches is simple. They talk
about the good we do, to define our ending, but to some progressives
there is no life thereafter in heaven but a rotting body to dust. If
there is no hope of eternity, there is no more hope when our lives on
earth are so bad.
For many gays, they
are just surviving. When we are trying to survive, we are mostly self
focused. We can't see God by loving more. It is all by His grace through
Jesus Christ.
When life is so
terrible on earth as in 1st century Israel, Jesus offered an eternal
life not by what they did or did not do, but by repentance of their
sins, and being baptised into His death and resurrection.
Jesus didn't come to
judge, and make takes right by destroying the Romans and the religious
pharisees. He came provide the door out that we need not die, and that
our lives did not end. We live on with Christ in heaven, and our
sufferings no more remembered in heaven.
The poor and
outcasts were blessed because their poverty and lack has led them to
Jesus in the desert. In the desert where life is so dry and harsh, Jesus
was the water of life. He gave us life both here and in heaven to come.
We may have lost
all, our eulogy whether written or unwritten saying "Here lies a Gay
man", but to Jesus the eulogy would write, "Here lies my beloved child.
He is with me now. He is not dead but risen".
The straight people
of faith will have their good eulogy written for them and some would
have very well attended funerals as ex-bishops and pastors of large
denominations.
For many gays, our
life and world is over even though we may be living. We are in mourning
and despair of lives and moments lost. We seek justice and judgement but
knows that it is too late and it doesn't matter anymore. The young ones
in their teens would live a different world, but our lives are long
over.
We know that nothing
we do matters anymore. We are condemned and judged, but even when we are
free, we have lost all the time in jail and live in unseen jails.
We come to Jesus.
And He says, come, lift up your hands, the latter rain of God's grace
will come. Receive His grace and be blessed. For your life has not
ended, but has just begun. And there will be no end, for one day we will
be with Him in heaven.
Jesus, we enthrone You
We proclaim You are King.
Standing here, in the midst of us
We raise you up with our praise
As as we worship build Your
throne, and
And as we worship build Your throne
And as we worship build Your
throne, Come Lord Jesus and take Your place.
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