Christianity Today blames gay equality for straight marriage infidelity

Same-sex marriage advocates frequently ask, "How would gay marriage affect your marriage?" The question is posed rhetorically, as if marriage is a private institution with no social consequences.But The New York Times, of all papers, argues that gay unions could significantly alter marriage norms. Same Sex, Different Marriage“Many of those who want marriage equality do not want fidelity”, Christianity Today, 10 May 2010

The “Christianity Today” posed the reason why Gays should not be married because many are currently in open relationships and the availability of marriage to Gays would somehow legitimized these open non monogamous relationships, hence undermining the institution of marriage. This is a weak and desperate argument because gay relationships are not currently bound nor supported by marriage and so the argument of open relationships extending to married life is at best a contrived hypothesis. How can they become monogamous when they currently don’t have the institution of marriage to protect and legitimize their relationships. This is precisely why gays should be allowed to marry so that they could live in more stable relationships. Straight marriages are not entirely monogamous either, nor do we define marriage solely based on monogamy. If we define thus, straight people would not qualify either.

The argument by Christianity Today that inclusion of gays (which only form 5% of the population) would somehow destroy the hallowed monogamous institution of marriage (now enjoyed by remaining 95% of population) is in fact blaming gays for the rampant breakdown of majority straight marriages. The institution of marriage has already been significantly broken down by straight people. It is the straight community that has all but undermine the notion of monogamous marriage especially conservative Christians. Even when given the opportunity of marriage, the straight community has failed to “protect” marriage:-

  • Divorce rate in America after first marriage is from 41% to 50%.
  • US divorce rate after second marriage is from 60% to 67%
  • According to the Barna Research Group, in their poll on divorce
  • 11% of the adult population is currently divorced.
  • 25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.
  • Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.

Unless “Christianity Today” is insisting to ban divorce, adultery, and abortions, with severe penalties even the death penalty as Christians in Nigeria has been insisting on gays, they should not be acting the hypocrite and being unjust in how they treat others different from themselves. As a Christian, the argument that giving an additional 5% of the population (being gays) the opportunity to marry would impact the already very high divorce rate of the remaining 95% is clearly a false witness. The is highly deceptive and immoral as if straight marriages have zero divorce rates and adding gays raising 1% of the rates (if at all) would lead to its demise.

Reversing the argument, if straight people were not bound by the institution of marriage as defined having only one partner, they would have many more open relationships. The fact that Gays want marriage shows instead their desire for long term monogamous relationships duly supported by society and the state. The bible gives us plentiful examples of “open” relationships even in marriage, using the same definition as Christianity Today as having more than one wife. Even if bound by marriage, we see in the bible that the patriarchs of old have many wives. Therefore the insistence by “Christianity Today” that monogamy must be a central argument before marriage is given lest it destroys the biblical definition of marriage is not biblical. Consider the bible patriarchs and their notion of traditional marriage:-

  • Gideon had many – Judges 8:30. “He had seventy sons of his own, for he had many wives”
  • King Solomon the wises man on earth had 700 wives and 300 concubines - (1 Ki 11:3 NKJV) “And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines; and his wives turned away his heart”
  • King David had at least 7 wives (1 Chr 3)
  • Moses had two wives

The founder of the “Christian” Mormon sect, Joseph Smith, had a least 30 wives yet we do not hear of Christians banning Mormons from getting married.

The argument by Christianity Today is tantamount to saying that sinners should never enter the church lest they corrupt it as the church is traditionally pure and sinless. The Christian faith has become so self righteous and legalistic that just like the Pharisees and scribes of old, it is demanding separation from the unclean. They are like white wash tombs, full of skeletons within. So are Christians, having a very high divorce rates, yet not letting a very small minority of the population be married as if it impacts the divorce rates. The hypocrisy of Christians will impact the Christian Faith and its message of peace and goodwill to all men.

(Rev 19:7,8 NKJV) "Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready." (Rev 19:8 NKJV) And to her it was granted to be arrayed in fine linen, clean and bright, for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints.

There is a call for the Christian church to remain faithful to its calling as a continuation of the ministry of Christ on earth. We are not in the marriage business. Let us return to the road of our Savior and not detract from the Gospel of message of God’s love, grace and mercy to the nations. As a church, we are married to the Lamb of God, Jesus Christ. Yet, we have been unfaithful and over and over again have had other gods, done great harm and damage throughout history neglecting our marriage vows. Yet, Jesus has been faithful to us. Let us give grace and mercy to others, as so much grace is given to the church of Jesus Christ.

The fine linen and white robs of the bride is the righteous acts of Christians. It is time the church start to love and to do good, and abstain from causing harm to wear the white linen of marriage so that the righteousness of Christ becomes ours when we take on the mantle and ministry of Christ to be amongst people of the outcasts rejected by the majority but loved by God. He came not to the rich, the religious, the powerful, but to the poor and the outcasts. Let us be poor in the spirit, that in our humility, may arise Christ in us, the Hope of Glory.

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